Anchors Aweigh: The African Crack Epidemic (ACE)

Toilet humor...This was some lady lettin it all hang out and we loved it.

One thing that is intriguing in South Africa is the diversity of bathrooms. Most of them feature an open arrangement so people can watch you shower. Most of the sinks have a separate fosset for hot and cold on separate ends of the sink so that you can not achieve a blended temperature. Some of the urinals feature a manual water handle to wash it down much like a turning on a hose. Some of the public toilets feature an inground hole. Not sure if you pee in this or squat over it and poo. Some places only have a bath with a shower head attachment but no shower curtain so you make a mess rinsing your hair. Some places have huge mirrors right next to the urinal so that everyone going to wash their hands can see your ding dong. Its magical.

Some dog that got kissed on the head and had lipstick marks in his fur. He obviously didn't like it, it was probably the butt crack lady

Our new place... We are no longer staying in the slums. We have relocated to Pretoria and currently staying at quiant little bed and breakfast. This is run by the nicest older couple ever. I was pretty sure they were going to kill us for a while because the room wreaks of mothballs. I figured thats how they covered up the smell of the deceased. This new place features a bathroom with a door and some beds a tv and for once internets! However today the internet was down and we were joking that we sucked them all up. Sadly we find out later that this is the case and that the old man had turned off the nets because we had used up the alotment for the month. The alotment is 1 gig per month which I don't exactly comprehend non unlimited data plans. Oh well.

Each morning they make us breakfast and sit down and eat with us. Its very tasty. The only creepy part is that the old guy sure has taken a certain fancy to Jake. The guy has researched where Jakes from and found his house on Google maps. They talk current events in Atlanta and the two of them had a heartfelt conversation this morn. Creepy. (Tim is just once again jealous)

How to approach this... This dish is known as a half Z. The Z being the loaf of bread. They hallow it out and fill it with either curry or stew. They also offer a quarter Z but were not sure if the full Z is possible.

We finally got our laundry done and it only cost 5 bucks unlike supposedly cheap Swazi that would have cost nearly 90 dollars.

We decided to go find out what the local culture was like in Pretoria. Our GPS pointed out that there was a correctional facility museum. This just seemed like a lovely way to spend the morning. Upon arrival we realized that you had to enter the prison to see the museum. After seeing the sketchy building and the awesome people hanging outside it we decided to look elsewhere for entertainment. We decided to go to a nearby nature reserve. Here we ran into some giant gerbals that made us go down into their lair in the dark cave to meet the Gerbil Queen. We got scared of the snake bat and other random mutant animals in the cave and ran out. Our hike was completed with getting lost and walking up and down a street 5 times until we found the right way to go. Turns out we started out going the right way and turned around. Always trust your gut is the moral here.

Killer mutant gerbil

BIRDS!

There is not to much to say about the boring match between Mexico and Uruguay except that the Mexican fans rival that of the US fans in douchebaggery. They are very rude and dissrespectful. However their chants are slightly more original than ours. Whenever the opposing team is about to kick a ball they all yell and go crazy bang drums and then just as the player kicks the ball the yell "PUUUNTOOOO!" in unison. This translates to Bitch. The only other thing they seem to say is "Chinga Su Madre" which as you probably guessed means fuck your mother. Very classy.

Not much to say about the USA versus Algeria game except that it was very stressful; the buildup was intense, fortunately it was like an Asian massage and there was a happy ending for us.

My money is on Jake for this fight... Bullets are one thing but team spirit is another. You can't kill an idea ..(V for Vendetta butchered quote..)

Pledge to the Un Stopp Able (I saw that on the boob tube and thought it to be clever)

As usual we met a huge slew of American douche bags that makes you embarrased to be an American. For example while we were at the ATM this dbagg was apparently talking to me then comes up to me and yells right in my ear "hey I'm talking to you, are you American!?" I halfway move my head and turn to him and say 'what' , "ARE YOU AMERICAN?!" mind you I am wearing an American flag at the time. I reply to him "Not if you are" he proceeds to harass us Jake turns around and calls him a douche bag and he then does the ever classic "USA, USA, USA" chant in our faces. Awesome.

WE SCORED!!!!