To catch a predator...

On to Kruger nature reserve. We woke up at 6am as instructed only to find that our ride was 3 hours late because some douche bags on the tour slept in. We also found that the driver didn't help because when we went back to pick up the dbags the driver turns to us at one point and asks "Do you know how to use this??" Jake and I looked at each other and then Jake says "Aaaa Map??". We knew were in for a treat. From that we had a quick 8 hour drive to the lodge. Upon arrival we were escorted to our night game drive which was absurdly gay. We saw lots of 'deer' aka impala and returned an hour later cold and bored out of our mind. Once we returned we were shown our new abode. This time we were to stay in a tree house overlooking a river. It was very high off the ground and featured electricity, no heat and many open spots in the bamboo walls. Basically we would be sleeping outside in a tree on some cots. The attendent told us not to leave valuables or food in the house but assured us that it was monkey proof. It was the furthest thing from monkey proof. Gaping holes in the walls and windows that were just sheets hanging down.


Look how secure this is... That one magical pole holding it up.



The first night was absolutely freezing. The tree house is very slanted so everything inside tends to slide down such as the beds and covers. It was a struggle. The second night was a bit warmer and I decided to risk a shower in our outdoor shower thing that was just like a walk in open shower for anyone to see. During the shower a baboon or something starts making terrifying raping sounds and while I stood there in pitch black shivering and naked I was trying to figure out what I would do if he attacked. All I could figure was I would throw the miniature bar of soap at him and run away screaming and naked. Fortunately he did not attack but did try to get in the tree house and Jake has recorded some of the gracefull and soothing sounds this beast was making. Really it sounds like a baboon masterbating while killing something at the same time.


Here is the shower without doors...



Here is the baboon sounds from inside the tree house.. Might be a little quiet so crank up the volume so you can really get in the mood.




We went through Kruger Nature reserve but it was a huge disappointment. All we ended up seeing were deer! We want our money back!

Look a bloated hairless deer. They seemed to hang out by the water trying to be hip... Looks like they all drank the kool aid.


Inverted horn long nose deer, very easy to spot....



Stinky shiny butt deer...Yawn so common



The rare but boring Unicorn Deer



Spotted Long Neck Deer



Sharp Tooth Deer


Wild Deer



Big Horn Deer



Easy, flying deer. Nice try Kruger but I know a deer when I see one.




Now at one point we had the pleasure of listening to something die... Here is this wild deer getting killed by a crocoDeer's last 'words'




The ride home was awful. They had an open game vehicle that had flaps that they could close but instead zip tied them shut so that it channeled all of the air at 120KMPH into our faes and up our legs. We frozed even though I was bundled up in my new as Jake calls it "New designer sweat shirt and designer sun shades"

unaTim trying to keep warm and in style..


Artsy fartsy shot of Jake


Sunset!!! So long Kruger!