Anchors Aweigh: From Swaz to Sleeze

While driving between places this came on our GPS... one of those warm fuzzy feelings

! Not sure what this means but lookout for something!

We departed swaziland but first made some pit stops to buy some shit gifts for you all. The first place we found had amazing hand crafted stuff in actual stores and the prices were very cheap. Naturally we bought lots of junk. Then we left and decided to pull off the side of the road where some aboradiginals were selling some of their work. We were stunned. This hand carved / polished rock work was incredible. And the prices were negotiable and a quarter of the craft shop. Each of the 'artists' were representing their own work and told you when they made it, how long it took and other interesting info. We paid 5 dollars US for a carved rhino that took the guy over two days to make. This was awesome and sad because 20KM down the road we purchased snacks from the grocery for more than we paid for the rhino. We pretty much wanted to buy their whole stock of items but these carvings are so damn heavy. We really arrent sure how we are going to get all of this stuff home.

Our trip back to Johannesburg was riddled with construction. They had signs such as 'Deep Excavation', '!', and very specific pictures of random huge road machinery. The excavation sign meant that half the road would be dug out 30ft down that you drove next to. This added 3 hours on to our already 5 hour trip. We also encountered a fire with 10 foot flames right next to the highway. It was so close that we could feel the heat from the flames in the car. People here tend to just burn large amounts of lang instead of using machienery to do the job.

So deep...

This was crazy 15 foot flames right on the side of the road you could feel all the heat inside the car.

180 is what we have topped out our sweet ride at.. roughly 115mph

When we arrived in Joburg we went to the address the owners of the hostel had told us to go to. There was a sign on the door that said to go to the primary facility to check in which was across town. We went to check in and they couldn't find a record of our reservation and moved on to helping others. Finally we got uppidy and they magically found our reservation which again was across the city in a different building than we first went to. We arrived at the location and attempted to open the front security metal grate in front of the door but our key was not working. We fumbled with door knob and tried the inner door but nothing. We heard people inside so we knocked pretty hard on the door but no one answered. Jake also tried the key to make sure I wasn't crazy and we were very confused. We called the main place and they said the would send some over to assist.

We sat in the car and waited. 20 minutes went by but still no one shows up. We go to the back door and try the key there. While Jakes trying the door I'm peeping in the window and yell stop stop these people live here, this isnt a hostel! We run back to the car pretty much realizing we are at the wrong residence. We are pretty sure we freaked the owners out because instantly a neighbor came to investigate and shortly after a cop rolled by. We sat in the car with the lights off and nothing happened. 40 minutes have now passed and we call the place again. They say "oh they are right around the corner"... Nope, at 60 minutes we start playing with the GPS and find that there is some subburb/city that has an identical address. We drive across the city again and finally arive at what turns out to be our real residence. Lucky for us that this involved us going through creepy parts of dangerous Joburg at night. A weird thing about Joberg is that everyone there is running all the time. We are not sure what from or what to. Young and old, fat and thin. Its sketchy and doesn't put me at ease as I think everyone is either being chased or just robbed someone and is making the gettaway. Often they are running and checking in a bag they are holding which screams mugging to me. We saw a guy in army fatigues running with a purple purse/man bag.

Our new residence turns out to be an absolute shithole. First off our key worked to get in but did not work to go into the building. We later find that our building is the separated shack in the back. Two beds that barely fit in the room, no heating on this sub zero night. Jake was fuming. We go to the backdoor of the main house and it was open so we walk in and find this Holland guy that helps us get our car safely into the compound. We find that the main house has one space heater and a tv and a couple extra vacant rooms. We quickly steal the space heater, all extra blankets, and a new room for ourselves. Sleeping in the car would have been better at least there would have been heat.

Oh well. We are looking for a new place today.

Johannesburg more like Smogannesburg